So they’re throwing a military parade on June 14 like it’s 1939 Berlin cosplay hour. Trump wants tanks, flags, and goose-stepping photo ops to feed his flabby ego and convince America we’re totally fine with authoritarian theater. But guess what? We’re not.
Here’s how to turn that fascist fanfic fantasy into a PR disaster, one ticket, one protest sign, and one glorious disruption at a time.
📉 Step One: Reserve. Every. Damn. Ticket.
Hit those RSVP links like it’s a Black Friday sale at Democracy Depot. Use burner emails, fake names (hey, “Major Payne” is back!), and grab as many free tickets as possible. Don’t show up. Or better yet…
🎭 Step Two: Show Up—but Make It Ugly (for Them)
If you’re going, wear your loudest protest gear under your “camo” of choice. Whip off that jacket and reveal:
- “8647” shirts
- “8647” signs
- Hand fans, umbrellas, or parasols with anti-authoritarian slogans
- Protest pins, patches, and yes, kazoos
🔊 Step Three: Make Noise. Make It Unignorable.
When the drums start rolling, hit back louder:
- Bring airhorns, protest whistles, and pre-recorded “BOOOOOs”
- Chant over the speeches: “NO PARADE FOR A COUP!”
- Cough really loudly if you’re near cameras. A lot. Like you caught something from a crumbling empire.
🎪 Step Four: Sabotage the Optics
Stand where the cameras point. Wear dissent like a badge. Be friendly with press and tourists—but make sure your message hijacks the headlines. If someone asks why you’re there? “To remember the dead and warn the living.”
🐾 Resistance Kitty’s Bonus Round:
- Coordinate a Blackout Block where dozens of you all wear black, stand silently together, and then BOOM: unfurl banners mid-parade.
- Turn your backs on any Trump or military speakers and raise your fists—or your middle fingers.
- Coordinate “flash mourning” in front of the parade route with flowers and tombstones marked “Democracy, 1776–2025.”
Today’s To-Do List:
- Snag your fake ticket (and a few dozen extras).
- Coordinate outfits and protest plans with friends.
- Gather gear: signs, noisemakers, comfy shoes.
- Share this blog so others know how to resist the parade charade.
- If you can’t attend, amplify the protest on social media using photos, videos, and hashtags.
Boycott: Raytheon, Lockheed Martin, or any defense contractor sponsoring or benefiting from the show. Blood money doesn’t deserve a spotlight.
Let them have their flags and tanks. We’ll have our truth, our courage, and a damn good plan to crash the show.
See you in the street. Or in every empty seat.
—Resistance Kitty
Sources:
- https://resistancedirectory.com/
- https://www.nlg.org/know-your-rights/
- America250.org (for ticket traps)
